Sunscreen

So here I was, relaxing by my pool when my perv neighbour John popped his head over the fence and started talking to me.  

“What the fuck do you want?” I asked the creep.  He was always looking for a way into my panties.

“Sorry to bother you Diane, I just noticed from my room that you were starting to look a little burnt”.

I looked up at the window that he used to spy on me all too often.  It was gross, it didn’t matter if I was in my bedroom or the living room, he had a line of sight into almost every room.  Normally I let him have it or let my boyfriend, Jason deal with it but he was actually helping me out this time, so I gave him a pass.

“Oh, shit!” I said looking down.  I’m normally the type to tan, not burn, but I wasn’t going to chance it.

“I have some right here if you need any” he offered.

Not the type of person to turn down free stuff, I accepted his offer.  He started to make his way around the fence that separated us.  I don’t know why he didn’t just toss it to me but whatever works.

As he opened the gate and entered my backyard, I could see the fat hairy man walk closer.  He was like 10 years older than me and I was totally out of his league, I don’t know why he even tried to hit on me in the first place.

“I see you got the necklace I sent you” he smiled.

“That was you?” I asked.  It was left on my doorstep yesterday.  I thought maybe it was from Jason but a secret admirer makes more sense.  “Thanks, I guess,” I said as he held out the sunscreen.  

I grabbed it and gave it a shake, no avail.  He told me there wasn’t much left so I kept going.  I was worried I was gonna be burnt by the time I was done because it took me like 10-15 minutes to get it out, but I relaxed as it exploded onto my face.

“Thanks, John.  You can go home now” I said coldly now that he gave me what I wanted.  I went to rub it in when John stopped me.

“It works a lot better if you just let it sit,” he said, now out of breath.

“Sure” I replied simply as I waved goodbye to the strange man.  It was only on my face and chest, but those were my best assets so that was alright.  I was lucky he was tame this time, normally he hits on me a lot more.