My Personal Pokemon

You know those times, those situations you end up in that seem completely impossible, almost imaginary, but there it is, staring you right in the face.  This is one of those times as I walked into my friend's dorm flat to see his ‘tormentor’ literally on her knees next to him.

“Nick!  I’m happy you’re here, I’m so excited to show you this”, he beamed as he hopped up from his seat at his kitchen table.

I walk hesitantly up to my friend and stand in front of the only other person in the room, Claire Bennett.  I waved my hand in front of her face, wondering if this very outspoken woman was even sober.  She responded by meowing.  I turned to Ross so see that grin he’s had since I got here.

“So… Did you kidnap her family or something?… Like how the fuck did you…”

“You may as well just let me explain, you’ll never guess” he interrupted.  “To make a long story short, I can control minds”.

I looked back at Claire and her look of total ignorance.  As weird as Ross’s answer was, I couldn’t think of something else that could make her do something so… weird.

I honestly can’t count the times that he’s complained about his crush from the floor above him rejected him, or ignored him, or talked negatively about his pokemon card or anime collection.

“Sooo… you made Claire cosplay?” I asked slightly scared at the power my friend may actually have.

“Oh My GOD I knew you’d say that!” He shouted, startling me a little.  “Isn’t that right, Claire?”

“MEOWTH, that’s right!” She responded.

Ross immediately burst out laughing.  I couldn’t help but slightly smile too.

“I made her say that every time I say, ‘Isn’t that right?’.  It’s soo hilarious, it never gets old… hehe.. trust me.  No, but really I made her think she’s a pokemon, how great is that?  She throws change in the air when you grab her tits, wanna see?”

I stared at her again, trying to smile and laugh with Ross.  Really I just didn’t want to piss him off at this point, Claire never really went out of her way to be mean to him, she just didn’t want to date his nerdy ass. 

“How does she even know what a Meowth is?” I asked.

“Well it took a bit but I had to teach her like you would a kid.  She was very resistant at first but once I removed her memories, aspirations, skills and pretty much everything else, there was plenty of room to learn!”

Holy fuck, Ross is a psychopath.  I looked at Claire’s vacant face again, feeling a lot more scared after that last fact.  

“Sooo…  This is really awesome.. but I have.. I was going to have dinner with the family tonight after this.  I’ll probably come back tomorrow for Fortnite though, so uhh…”

“Oh goodness, yeah my bad dude, go ahead I’ll see you tomorrow”.  

I made my way to the door before he spoke up one last time.

“Wait, crap sorry, forgot to ask, what’s Dani’s phone number again?”

I paused for a second, trying to remember when I gave Ross my girlfriend’s number in the first place, but I had already repeated it off for him before I could.  

“What did you need that for again?” I asked.

“Oh, I think she wanted me to teach her something, don’t worry about it.  You can just pick her up tomorrow when you come over”.

Again, I tried to think of when she even talked to Ross before.  All of the sudden it didn’t matter, I wasn’t worried.  Ross is my friend.  I then turned around and walked out his door with nothing more than a goodbye.